Between Man and Woman
Kyubei's Request: Make sure to watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV!
Hey, samurai.
Would you like your fortune told?
Sorry, I'm not interested.
I cannot make any guarantees as to the accuracy of my fortunes,
but I do have a keen eye for people,
young lady.
You cover yourself in the garb of men,
but I can tell that your heart wavers.
You are unsure whether you should live as a woman or a man.
I see.
To keep your family tradition going, you were raised as a boy,
and you were unable to escape the role.
Even so, I met good friends who accept me for who I am,
became aware of the female that, without a doubt, resides in me,
and gradually began to accept it,
but the male habits ingrained in my body prevent me from taking the next step
out of embarrassment.
That, and my lingering feelings for a certain someone
leave me still uncertain whether I wish to be
a yuri character or a tomboy character.
Then why don't you try becoming a man in both body and mind?
I-Is that even...
It is possible, yes.
If you truly desire it,
I can change this world for you.
Modern society is full of docile men and proactive women,
people who disregard their gender roles.
You people must face up to the sex you've been given
and understand the roles God assigned to you.
To that end, maybe you should lose those roles once.
Sorry to say this after you lent me an ear,
but I'm not interested in joining your cult.
Do you wish to become a man?
Stop it!
I'm not about to stoop to escapism!
You wish to escape the reality that you are a woman.
Is that correct?
That's enough!
If you can change the world, then do it.
But don't stir up people's hearts with words you can't follow through on!
That was a "yes," I take it?
Now, behold.
Our universal god, Lord Dekobokko, shall bring judgment down upon you!
This town will be reborn,
and you will have a new sex in that brand new world.
I can hardly wait to see how you will live with it.
Are you okay?
What was that light just now?
Hey.
What just happened?
What was with that fortune teller?
Was that light just now her doing?
It can't be.
My body feels heavy.
Is it my imagination, or have I gained weight?
Oh, pardon me for staring.
It's just, your clothes are so similar to mine...
Wh-Why?
Wh-Why can't I look up?
It's not unheard of for people to wear similar outfits, right?
But is it normal for even the eyepatch to be the same?
Is it some kind of costume?
Oh, he must be a cosplay party animal.
B-But if I look up and see the party animal again...
No, that's impossible.
The very thought is preposterous.
I'm not a man.
And I'm not a woman, either.
I'm...
I'm Yagyu Kyu—
I've become Jyubei.
Kyubei's grown an unfamiliar extra rod!
I've become Yagyu Jyubei!
9 + 1 = Yagyu Jyubei
N-No way.
This can't be!
I won't accept this!
I won't accept such a thing!
I...
What are you doing, bro?
You'll hurt yourself.
I'm not a bro!
I'm—
F-Forgive me!
What?
Why are you apologizing for touching a man's chest?
B-But it just went "boing"...
Boing?
Huh? What the hell?
Don't tell me...
Are you...
Odd Jobs Gin-chan
Toilet
How'd it go?
It's been so long since I last saw one!
That's the issue here?!
How did it come to this...
Er, you're Kyubei, right?
Call me Jyubei now.
Sugar Content
As for you, would Ginko-san be all right?
Nah, call me Vagin—
You saw that light, too, didn't you?
That's probably the cause.
Y-You gotta be kidding me.
You're saying everyone who was exposed to that light swapped genders?
And this is happening all over the Kabuki District as we speak?
Yes, unfortunately.
So, basically...
I should fondle these boobs while I still can, huh?
Where did that come from?!
But, you know, dreams never go all the way.
They peter out just as you get to the good stuff.
This is not a dream!
It's reality!
Gin-chan!
Kagura!
Was Kagura-chan exposed to that light, too?
Help!
Help me!
Make it go away!
It's over there!
Oh, it was just a roach? Don't scare me like that.
So creepy.
You're the creepy one here!
Before crying about roaches, take a good look at your roach of a face!
Oh, so you guys swapped genders, too.
Yours goes far beyond that!
There's no trace of the original you! What's with the eye scar?!
When I woke up from my nap and went to the restroom earlier,
I found something weird hanging from my crotch.
But don't worry. I got rid of it already.
I got it!
What the hell did you do?!
"Essence of my father, blood of my mother,
Essence of my father, blood of my mother, I cannot throw this away.
I cannot throw this away!"
Who are you, Xiahou Dun?
Did you eat it like he ate his eyeball?
Also, getting rid of your balls hasn't solved anything!
Your face practically screams "I have a pair"!
Such is war.
Even if you render the enemy general impotent and win,
only sorrow will remain in the hearts of the populace.
She hasn't turned into a "he" so much as a "hero."
He
Hero
She was affected even though she was napping at home?
Anyway, we should keep people away from the Kabuki District.
Contact Shinpachi-kun.
Leave that mission to me.
Let's go, Sekitobaharu!
Hold it right there!
Sekitobaharu (Red Hare-haru)
What do you mean, Sekitobaharu?!
Is that Sadaharu?!
Forget genders, he's swapped species!
Why has he been made accomplice to your military style?!
I'm back.
Did you see that light before, Gin-san?
The entire town's in an uproar.
Oh, no.
Were we too late?
Who are you people?
Don't just barge into other people's houses!
Shinpachi!
Shinpachi-kun!
We were too late!
Damn it all!
How could this be?!
Shinpachi's...
Shinpachi's frame turned pink!
He's become so feminine!
Uh, that's not Shinpachi.
Curse you, Zhuge Liang!
Uh, he has nothing to do with this.
How am I supposed to tell Tae-chan?
I don't know what's going on, but I do know that you guys piss me off.
The whole town is in chaos.
Odd Jobs Gin-chan
It seems like there were more casualties than we thought.
If you truly desire it,
I can change this world for you.
It might be my fault.
This whole situation might be my doing.
Emergency alert.
The Kabuki District has been placed under martial law.
People in the vicinity are to follow the government officials' instructions
and leave the area as quickly as possible.
All those in the district are to wait for orders.
Do not leave, under any circumstances.
Hey! Let us outta here!
I don't want to stay in an old man's body!
Every way out's been blocked off completely.
Guess we're trapped in here with these bodies.
Yagyu Kyubei (M)
Is the government trying to keep the damage from spreading
by putting us under quarantine?
Sakata Gintoki (F)
Nah, they might just be trying to literally cover up this problem.
Sekitobaharu (F) Kagura (M)
Is it that cursed Zhuge Liang's trap?!
Pink Glasses
Why am I the clearly the odd one out?!
Why did only my glasses get a makeover?!
Also, are you guys really Gin-san and gang?
Give it a rest. I told you that I'm now Vagin—
Call us Ginko-san and Jyubei.
But how am I supposed to believe you?
This can't be Kagura-chan.
I'm not Kagura-chan.
Kagura Dun
Call me Kagura Dun, whelp!
Who the hell is Kagura Dun?!
That's not even the same character anymore!
Wh-What's that?
People of Earth.
Have you graciously accepted your gift from God?
That's...
What has happened to your bodies is an undeniable fact.
It is a trial that God has bestowed upon you.
Until now, you people have been neglecting your genders.
Frail men who escape to anime and games out of a fear of getting hurt.
Haughty women who lord over men under the pretext of gender equality.
Lord Dekobokko is most saddened and angered by this.
If you are so discontent with the sex you have been granted,
then he feels you should swap them and try living a new life with a new sex.
Should you Earth people adopt Dekobokkoism as your state religion
and exhibit the will to remain faithful to your genders,
God will forgive all your sins and turn you back to normal.
But if you continue to defy his teachings,
then his light of judgment shall fall
not only on the Kabuki District, but on this entire planet.
Do not forget. We are always watching you.
What was that just now?
What's the meaning of this?
Enough with the jokes already.
Lord Dekobokko?
I can't go back to normal unless I act feminine?
Who in their right mind would believe that crap?
That aside, Pachie,
wanna hit up the photo booth at the arcade?
You clearly believe it!
Who do you think you are, a high school girl?!
Quit being so wary, Pachie.
It's 'cause you're so uptight that you can't get a boyfriend.
I don't want a boyfriend!
And I'm not Pachie!
You got it all wrong, girl.
Apparently there's this hot new photo booth where
you can take pictures with a total cutie-patootie mascot.
1,000 yen a pop
Welcome!
Right now, you have the chance to take pictures with me, Lord Dekobokko.
Gosh, you are such a cutie pie!
Don't collaborate with the zealots to make money!
In these chaotic times,
people don't have the strength to live without a pillar of faith.
'Tis also a lord's duty to accept the weakness of his people.
Nobody's gonna accept how weak your brains are!
It's Lord Dekobokko!
If you take a picture with him, you can go back to normal!
Let me take one too, Lord Dekobokko!
Calm down, everyone!
This is basically a riot!
Out of the way! I'm going first!
No, I am!
Um, could you let me through?
You're in the way!
Didn't you hear me telling you to calm down?
Are you all right, miss?
You're not hurt, are you?
I-I'm fine.
Thank you for saving m—
T-Tae-chan?
Are you...
Kyu-chan?
I can't believe you were in the Kabuki District too, Sis.
But then, why is your body unchanged?
You're being rude, Pachie.
Look at her chest. It's as flat as Sekigahara.
It's been razed to the grou—
I hate to break it to you, but I only came here after the fact.
The uproar on TV got me worried, so I decided to check on Odd Jobs,
but I got locked in here instead.
Now I find Gin-san with this massive rack.
Good for you.
You can fondle them to your heart's content.
O-Ow! You're gonna rip my boob off!
And speaking of surprises,
I find this fabulous man,
and it turned out to be Kyu-chan.
Sis, now is not the time for that.
I-I'm not Kyubei, but Jyubei, her brother.
I'm currently looking for a girlfriend.
Quit trying to take advantage of this crisis!
Is this seriously your type of guy, Otae?
Jyubei's cute and all, but doesn't he seem like a total De A**stini type?
Like the publisher, he'll be nice until you start a relationship, but then...
And you, quit ignoring the crisis for a session of high school girls' talk!
No, while it's true that De A**stini serialized the Records of the Three Kingdoms...
Nobody was talking about you!
Have you heard of Dekobokkoism?
It's an extremist religious cult that's on all the interspace wanted lists.
The core members are all hermaphrodites,
or people who are both male and female.
As such, they've adopted a very strict doctrine about gender.
Men must be manly, and women feminine, or they'll be subject to divine punishment.
I'd heard they'd been propagating such beliefs on various planets,
but I never knew it'd be like this.
I have no idea how they did it,
but unless we do something about them,
none of us will go back to normal.
That's easier said that done.
Not only do have no clue where they are, but we can't leave this town, either.
Also, they said they're always watching us,
so they must have a wide surveillance network.
If we do anything stupid, we'll put all of Earth in danger.
That's right!
They've taken the Earth and my pair hostage.
Three balls in total!
What do we do, then?
Well, let the government handle the state religion mess.
The more pressing matter we face now is...
How to pee!
Who cares?!
I do!
We don't know where and how they could be watching us.
So until things get fixed, I gotta act feminine!
And provided I learn the right way to pee now,
even if I find someone peeing wrong while I'm peeing,
I can teach them the right way to pee—
Enough!
How many times are you gonna say the word pee?!
I'll cut to the chase.
How do I take a leak the feminine way?
H-How? J-Just do it normally.
What's that supposed to mean?
Do you know how to take a manly leak?
There's nothing manly or feminine in using the toilet!
I'm telling you to do it normally.
And I'm telling you I don't get what's normal.
Do you mean something like this?
Excuse us.
We need to visit the washroom.
Say, Otae.
Who are you gunning for?
For starters, that lame four-eyes is out of the question, right?
I mean, pink glasses? Seriously?
Who cares about that part?!
Why are you playing a scene right out of a mixer?!
Hold it!
Why are you trying to stroll into the women's toilet with Tae-chan?
What else can I do? I am a woman right now!
And this way, I can ask her how to do it!
What kind of perverted things are you trying to make Sis do?!
It'd paint a horrible picture!
Oh, all right.
I'll teach you.
That'd paint an even worse picture!
Um, if you'd like...
I can teach you.
Formerly men, now women.
It shouldn't be a problem when we're both in the same boat, right?
Huh? You were a man, too?
I-I can't believe it.
At times like these, we need to help each other out.
At first, I had no idea what to do either,
but it's easy once you get used to it.
She may have formerly been a man,
but should I really be making such a sexy lady do this?
It's fine. It's out of my hands.
Besides, this is Gintama!
I just did it normally over there.
Uh, sorry.
Small, not big.
Small?
I was pretty pent-up, so I'd say it was a pretty big one myself.
That's not what I meant.
But before all that, isn't that outdoor defecation?
More like an out-of-the-box du—
It's outdoor defecation, isn't it?
I didn't know whether to use the men's or the women's toilet,
so I took a freedom du—
No matter how much you deny it, it's outdoor defecation, isn't it?
Forgive me.
I was following someone, so I didn't have time to look for a toilet.
Oh, despite how I look, I'm a policeman.
Though it wasn't a criminal I was following,
but Otae-san.
Kondo Isao (F)
So it was outdoor defecation.
What the hell do you think you're doing?!
How'd a gorilla turn into a Takarazuka Revue beauty?
Why does he have these huge knockers?!
Ow! You're gonna rip my boob off!
Is that seriously Kondo-san?
Forgive me, Otae-san.
I didn't want you to see me like this,
but when I saw you in trouble, I just couldn't leave you alone.
The thing is, I...
Frankly, I'm sexier than you—
Heretics spotted.
Hey! We really were being watched!
What was the problem?
The outdoor defecation? Otae?
There's so many things it could be, I can't tell which one it is!
Anyway, we need to run away!
Capture the heretics.
Oh, no. We're surrounded.
Hey, cop! Do something about this!
D-Don't worry.
Th-The government hasn't abandoned this town.
I didn't come here just to follow Otae-san.
I infiltrated this place in order to guide
the special new unit that has the mission of saving the town!
Let's go, you louts.
Okita Sogo (F)
Cunsengumi, move out.
Shinsengumi (F)
It's just a group of gender-swapped special idiots!
What the hell are you doing? Aren't you supposed to be cops?!
Hey, what is with all of you?
Are you messing with me?!
Over there, boss lady! The enemy's over there!
Well, your breasts are my enemies!
This is bad, Hijikata-san!
There's an unexpected enemy!
She's gonna take us out, Hijikata-san!
How stupid.
I'd love to give these annoying lumps away if I could.
Hijikata Toshiro (F)
Thank you.
What the hell's that supposed to mean?!
To Be Continued
Preview
Why am I the only one who looks like this?
It's all the mayonnaise calories you accumulated.
Sheesh. I'm fed up with the men of this town.
Begone, you pigs.
Next Episode: "Calories Come Back to Bite You Just When You've Forgotten About Them."
Calories Come Back to Bite You Just When You've Forgotten About Them
Why am I feeling joy in this situation?
Preview
With all the changed, unchanged,
and slightly changed people,
you'd think there'd be chaos on the scene,
but everyone seems surprisingly into it.